Police officer jokes. 101 Fun Jokes 2019-01-25

Police officer jokes Rating: 4,4/10 1431 reviews

Police officers to be given course on 'banter' so they don't make offensive jokes

police officer jokes

One man applied for the job but he had no arms. The man answered that it was in the garage. Then all hell breaks loose behind the door cursing, screaming, crashing. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away. The cell already has a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. What did the Missouri sheriff call the black teen who had been shot 12 times? It makes me look cooler, we all have fun and the children can come and talk to me.

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Police Jokes: Police Jokes for Kids

police officer jokes

Why did the book join the police? Man gives his wife a dirty look. He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. Who's giving that lecture at this time of night? Have I made myself clear? The Police sent me a picture of me speeding. The officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Man: Shut your mouth, woman! Older Woman: I can't do that. They'll stretch after you wear them a while.


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The Official Comedy Central UK Site

police officer jokes

Officer2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. They swear at the neighbors and leave. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend! Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches? Man gives his wife a dirty look. The Older Woman Speeding An older woman gets pulled over for speeding. Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. An elderly couple was just settled down for bed when they heard voices.


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Cop Jokes

police officer jokes

This one almost made our top ten: Warning! Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off; it was a fine, dry summer night, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. Older Woman: I can't do that. The police want to interview me. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile. I think I'll wait for the police. The Senior in the Corvette A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership.

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Police Jokes

police officer jokes

I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead. Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. He didn't want to be late. What would you do if you had to arrest your mother? Peter looks down at them and asks their names. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. Older Woman: Is there a problem sir? Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks. You stay here, I'll go on a head! Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and ot lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

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The Official Comedy Central UK Site

police officer jokes

What do you call a police officer in a sleeping bag? The pedal car grand prix is a two-hour endurance race around a track. I'll tell it really slow! I didn't know about a broken tail light! What did you do with your life? I need my garden dug. We Got Here As Fast As We Could. How do police officers hand cuff a one armed man Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. Look at the test they're giving now. He told the trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and didn't have anything to juggle.

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Best cop jokes ever

police officer jokes

He was charged with battery. Wife: Oh Steven, you've known about that tail light for weeks. Officer : Can I see your license please? Why does a police officer go by numbers? Officer : Can I see your license please? Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Naturally, the Polish community in Ireland are having a good laugh about Mr Prawo Jazdy. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear.

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Police Officer in Hot Water Over Joke About Charlottesville

police officer jokes

Moments after, a policeman pulled him over and accused him of reckless driving. The President decides to give them a test. If he had come home yesterday, that would be me in there in that bed! Police Jokes Our Police jokes will be guilty of making you laugh. . How do cops greet people? Brian was pulled over for speeding, and as the cop approached his car, he noticed lighter fluid, matches, and torches, all in the passenger seat right next to him.

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